August 28, 2006

When you have something important to do clearly the right move is to put it off by watching videos of people krumping and new wave music videos on YouTube. Also, you should eat peanut butter and bananas in the computer lab as though it is your house.

This is my favorite song of all time by a damn sight.

HKATZNYU is back. We had rehearsal tonight and we'll have another long one tomorrow in preparation for our one-thousand-Freshmen Orientation show on Tuesday night. It felt good. I like being over-booked, schedule-wise.

There was a spontaneous dance party at UCBT last night. Oh man was it ever a fucking gas. "Sexy Back" gets 'em on the floor. At first I wasn't sure it would, but I am stupid. If I could play dance music off a computer for happy enthusiastic people while making my way through the half-of-a-six-pack at my feet for the rest of my days, well, that'd be alright.

One thing krumping videos taught me tonight is the term "pure buckness." One thing krumping videos reminded me of that I already know was that I will never be in touch with my body. We will not even exchange postcards. We will not even send each other a text message that reads "Whose number is this? My phonebook got deleted." My body will not even leave me a passive aggressive post-it note on the bathroom mirror reminding me to buy toilet paper.

Posted by DC at 03:38 AM | Comments (23)

August 21, 2006

TREMBLE BEFORE A FULL WEEK OF DERRICK COMEDY, LIVE.

LOW PROFILE
we host an all-new comedy variety show with TYBRUS
five bucks, 8 pm, Fat Baby (Rivington btwn Ludlow and Essex)

CAGEMATCH
versus Mailer Daemon
five bucks, free to UCB students, 11 PM, UCBT

Oh fuck yea.

Posted by DC at 04:33 PM | Comments (21)

August 17, 2006

Last week I moved into the dorm where I'll be staying for the rest of the academic year. The internet is turned off until the schoolyear starts. But sometimes, there will be a location truck from some film shoot that's been going on on the block parked outside, and it has wireless. Waking up to that truck is like Christmas times seven to a boy who loves checking his e-mail but hates showering or putting a shirt on.

My life is mellow as hell until school starts. Basically I wake up, wander around, read a book in the park, go to the library and futz around on the Internet, scare up something to do in the evening. Because I haven't been working that much and the dining halls are closed I've been trying to subsist on ten dollars a day. The Old Me would have gotten up really late so as to make lunch a non-issue, put off dinner as long as possible, and then gone to Chipotle with the ten bucks. The New Me uses the ten bucks to buy some kind of pasta, some vegetables maybe, and some kind of meat, throws it all in a pan, eats half of it, and saves the rest for dinner. Then, to reward the New Me for being so cost-conscious for two or so days, I go to Chipotle.

A bird pooped on my arm today.

Posted by DC at 05:54 PM | Comments (0)

August 16, 2006

New DERRICK vids, hoss.


If you like them, please be sure to click on over to YouTube and rate them (you can just click the video window.)

Posted by DC at 12:01 PM | Comments (21)

August 14, 2006

Today in a giant empty pool in Brooklyn I took a cameraphone picture of ?uestlove taking pictures of my friends playing dodgeball. It was a real freaky scene.

Posted by DC at 12:18 AM | Comments (126)

August 12, 2006

Things that are about my life:

I went to a free Long Winters secret show this week. Lo, it was glorious. Their new album is the jumpsuit. On the subject of concerts: if I made a t-shirt that said, "PUT DOWN THE CAMERA, LOATHSOME BLOGGER," would you buy it?

Donald is having an apartment-warming party tonight. Which corner of his as-yet-unfurnished apartment will I pass out in? If I would you, I'd put even money on the fire escape. Also: since he is moving, I am buying his turntables. What should my DJ name be? Minus points for DJ names that begin with "DJ." Bonus points for references to Aztec mythology and Civil War painters.

The featured article on the front page of Wikipedia just now contained the words "pathetic she-tragedy." This is apparently a type of play in 17th century England focusing on the sufferings of a heroine, and is not to be confused with my feminist post-punk outfit The Pathetic She-Tragedies, with whom I tore up the rooms-above-pubs Manchester scene for three years in the early 80s, my penis tucked between my legs the whole time. (In the music press, the reason for our breakup was cited as "chafing.")

I do tech for a show at UCB on Friday nights at midnight called Liquid Courage, along with the inimitable Mo Fathelbab. It's a sketch open mic where seasoned performers, students, and anybody else who stumbles in can try out new stuff. I really enjoy it: I get to play the first ten seconds of songs I like during blackouts, and it gives me an excuse to do a new solo bit or two every week. Last night I performed a character named Tiguerre Salazar, and Rocco enlisted me to be a creepy phone-voice in his bit, which wasn't scripted. Nothing says Friday night in the city like whispering skeezy shit and Hakeem Olajuwon references into a god mic for the benefit of your friend onstage smoking in goth-drag. You should come out: the show only gets weirder, more fun, and more punk-as-fuck by the week. And it's free!

DERRICK was in New Hampshire last weekend shooting ill videos. It was a total gas. We should have the videos out by the end of this coming week. Watch this space for updates.

Please answer the sentences in this entry ending in question marks at dcpierson at gmail dot com. I will post the responses because it will save me from having to write new things. Love!

Posted by DC at 05:17 PM | Comments (1)

August 08, 2006

"EYES SPEAK VOLUMES"
a poem by J. Evan Riley
Mrs. Scolari's 10th grade English


My eyes are a dictionary
in which you can look up the word
"sadness."

My eyes are a thesaurus:
Hmm.
Did you know there were so many synonyms for
"sad?"

My eyes are an atlas:
There is an arrow labelled
"you are here"
pointing to the country called
Sadsylvania. (Its main export
is tears.)

There are so many books
in my eyes. I guess you could say
I have an
eye-brary.

Shhhhhhh.

No talking in the eye-brary.

Only crying.

Posted by DC at 02:51 AM | Comments (116)

Today I coined a folksy aphorism. Feel free to use it around.

"Internet videos are like handjobs: they usually you go 'I could do this way better myself.'"

Posted by DC at 02:44 AM | Comments (18)

August 04, 2006

Internet comedy videos: anyone can play!

Harry Terjanian, Hammerkatz NYU alum and illustrious stand-up, has a couple sketches he wrote up on the 'Tube, and they will rock your balls.

Pasadena General was filmed in, I think, the fall of '05 and premiered in an HKATZNYU show. It was directed by DERRICK film-god Dan Eckman.

Crazy Lenny was developed under HKATZNYU, but we never got a chance to put it in a show. So Harry done did it himself. We premiered it at Outtakes this past Monday night.

Stomp it!


DERRICK is headed up to New Hampshire this weekend to Chez Eckman to shoot some new videos for your ass. Expect at least three locations that aren't Dom + Dan's apartment, a first for us.

We should be blasting your face with those sometime next week. You know I'll let you know.

Posted by DC at 02:47 PM | Comments (15)

August 03, 2006

Track titles for songs from my upcoming country and western album, "Hell Might Freeze Over But Whiskey Don't Freeze."

Too Drunk To Fuck (Is Just Drunk Enough To Fuck You)

Barbed Wire, Stop Signs, and Broken Dreams (Are All Things I Found In The Grille of My Truck)

Where Once There Was A Wife (Now There’s A Woman-Shaped Lump of A Substance Called Talkstoomuch)

Hangovers Hurt In The Morning (Sober Human Interaction Hurts Now)

Missippi Jailbreak (Alternate Title: Dammit, Diner Waitress, I Know I’m Covered In Mud And Wearing A Leg Manacle And A Broken Length Of Chain, Now Do The Breakfast Special Come With Hashbrowns Or Don’t It?)

Steel Guitar, You’re My Only Friend (Since I Shot My Friend When He Caught Me Stealing His Steel Guitar)

Restraining Order Violation (Alternate Title: If We Got Different Definitions Of “Fidelity,” Then I Guess We Must Got Different Definitions of “500 Feet At All Times,” Too, Then, Don’t We, Kayleen?)

Happily Off The Wagon (Inexplicably On The Roof)

Posted by DC at 12:35 AM | Comments (33)