By Friday I have found a place to move. I will move there for a couple months and cool my heels until my friend Gregor moves out from New York in February and we’ll get a place. He’s going to get a dog. The idea of living in a cool house with a person I like and a dog to whom my responsibilities extend only to petting it, talking to it in silly voices, and saying about it, to guests, “look at our sweet-ass dog” is endlessly appealing to me.
I am on my way to a callback. I go to Kinko’s to print out the sides because I’ve failed to keep them from the original audition. Outside, the sun is already kind of setting. The pink of leaves on a tree is the same as the pink of a triceratops skull on a banner hanging from a streetlight advertising a museum.
At the production company where the callback is being held, I wait with fellow auditioners in a lobby by the elevators. Since it’s Friday night, employees are leaving for the weekend, and making leaving for the weekend small-talk.
“What did your mom make?”
“Banana nut bread…and…what she calls horseshoe bread, but I just say it’s stromboli without tomato sauce.”
Later, a receptionist shouts down the hall to a guy who’s just pressed the “down” button: “You’re leaving leaving?”
“Yep,” he says, “Have a nice life.”
It is then that I notice he is holding a tray full of clean-out-your-desk stuff, sweaters and Tupperware.
At home, I pack tentatively. I am excited, not yet feeling overly sentimental. I am happy to see the cardboard boxes I used to ship my stuff out from New York be pressed into service again. I think of them as the Nine Little Gentlemen. I think of them as stout British adventurers, happy to be called back to active duty. In my mind, they all have white moustaches and pipes and pith helmets and tell each other war stories until I call upon them, at which point they spring into action. “Time to move, wot?” “West Hollywood? Ruddy good theater of operations, that!”
It will be a belief I’m sure I’ll find naïve after I’ve lived here a while, but I find In-N-Out on Sunset to be the nerve center of Hollywood, or at least a clean white best-of collection of its residents. I am sitting in the drive-thru while I listen to KCRW, the Santa Monica NPR affiliate and truly the coolest radio station in the modern world. KCRW is playing dance music. Does your NPR affiliate play dance music on a Friday night? It doesn't, does it? Two girls I can best describe as “nightlife casualties” stumble through my headlights and into the back of a cab that is parked, waiting for them. They took a cab to In-N-Out, or made the cab go to In-N-Out on its way somewhere else. It is my deeply held conviction that you should not leap out of a cab and yell “leave the meter running!” unless you are the frazzled lovesick protagonist in the third act of a romantic comedy. If you’re not sure if you’re the frazzled lovesick protagonist in the third act of a romantic comedy, here’s an easy test: are you wearing a rain-soaked tuxedo? If so, you’re a LoPro3rdActRomCom. Now go grab that girl and kiss her by the end of the bridge of this Snow Patrol song.
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