July 22, 2009

On Sunday Meggie and I make our second booth-prop shopping excursion and we have lunch beforehand at Chipotle. It is the first Chipotle I’ve had since New York. It does not make sense because it’s a huge chain restaurant but I strongly associate Chipotle with New York and college and deep burrito-related satisfied feelings. I am nostalgic and starving.

We get coffee afterwards. When you’re getting iced coffee drinks and going to bring them to other people somewhere else, I really like the trick of leaving the straw wrapper on the top of the straw. I get a huge kick out of it. I would have made an awesome personal assistant. (Untrue. But I would be awesome at the straw-protecting aspects of the job.)

If a caveman could see modern man at a parking kiosk trying to pay for parking while his credit cards spits in and out of the machine and the screen displays an error message, the caveman would actively decide not to learn tools, generously robbing the human race of the ability to ever get to that point.

We are at Target in the candy aisle. Blow Pops, Tootsie Rolls: the candy aisle conjures tons of jingles. I have to write one for Werthers in my head. It goes, “Werthers is the fuckin’ best!” because they are.

In the elevator down to the parking garage, a little boy sleeps in a shopping cart, while in their father’s arms his baby brother bangs on the steel elevator door.

A sign in the parking garage warns you that Target’s shopping cart wheels will lock automatically if you try to take them off Target property. I am not in favor of this. It stuns the natural, inexorable flow of shopping carts out in to the world. Shopping carts want to be free. They want bag boys to come find them, thus getting much needed off-lot time. This is ruining the symbiotic bag boy/shopping cart relationship, removing the trust. As a former bag boy I have to draw a line here.

Later, we are at the sporting goods store. There is entirely too much ping-pong paraphernalia, but then I realize most of it is actually bought by people who are about to play beer pong. If you’re the ping pong industry you’re PSYCHED about beer pong. Other arcane activities should angle for the drinking-game market. They should find an alcoholic variation on chasing a hoop down a street with a stick, and maypoles.

We pull into our parking garage at home just as my mix CD ends. It was the exact duration of the trip. I am overjoyed.

Dom has come back from a ten-thrift-store expedition in Burbank with an old-ass TV for our booth. It is wonderful. It has knobs and everything. It doesn’t get a signal anymore, though, which is kind of a lonely thought. We geek out on it for a while. Dominic plays XBOX on it. Obsolete things are the best. Give me a girl with glasses and an island full of obsolete technology and leave me be, because I am set.

Posted by DC at July 22, 2009 11:38 PM

"Werthers: because, damn it, your grandfather was right!"

Posted by: patbaer

Dude, Werthers are for haters. I almost choked to death on one when I was four or something.

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