July 21, 2009

There was a Long’s drugstore by us. It was open twenty-four hours and it got hit up a lot for various things. Since we’ve been here it has become a CVS. This is a bummer, because while they’re just a couple of faceless drugstore chains, Long’s was a drugstore chain we did not have back in New York, so it was new and novel. And there’s something about “Long’s” that feels more classic-drugstore. I feel like I could tell you to meet me at Long’s for a soda in the fifties. I feel like if it were the fifties and I told you to meet me for a soda at CVS, you would tell people I might be a communist, and I couldn’t blame you.

Everything in my bathroom has made a dying-dog noise at some point. A few weeks ago it was the toilet. On Saturday morning it’s the fan that turns on when the light turns on. Nothing in my bathroom doesn’t howl. I want to think it’s a gateway to The Other Side but I know it’s just a falling-apart bathroom in Beverly Hills.

Meggie and I are going shopping for items for the Mystery Team Comic Con booth. Driving to the first store, we see an old-school peace protest on a street corner. It is a lot of older guys and their signs are not protesting any particular conflict so much as they are saying “Hey, peace.” Someone honks and I think they’re honking at me so I get self-conscious but then it turns out they are just honking for peace.

Our first stop is a toy store at the Farmer’s Market. I’ve never been to the Farmer’s Market before but I immediately fall in love during our quick in-and-out operation and swear to myself to come back someday and bleed leisure time all over the place. It combines the best parts of Seattle, Los Angeles, and one of those crowded marketplaces in futuristic dystopias where steam is jetting out of everywhere and little Asian kids are running around, playing with clones of themselves.

You know what song is on the radio right now in Los Angeles? “You Dropped A Bomb On Me.” I don’t have the radio on, yet I know it’s playing somewhere on the FM band right now. It is always playing. It is the oxygen in the radio’s atmosphere.

On Saturday night we are appearing as guests in Seth And Ed’s Puppet Talk Show at UCBLA. It is a total blast. You have to smile when you are talking to a puppet. You can’t fight it, and if you can, you’re not a person. When standing in the back watching the rest of the show I am reminded of the kind of people it was always best to stand next to in the back of UCBNY: look-laughers. The kind of people who laugh really hard and genuinely and look at you when they do it to kind of say, “Can you believe this? We’re an AUDIENCE!”

That night I coin two pun phrases I feel deserve their own full-page articles in Cosmopolitan. One is “Mister-sogony.” This is when you are misogynistic towards a man. Another is “Bacheloretiquette.” This is bachelorette party etiquette, like knowing the right time to present the prospective bride with the penis hat she will be expected to wear for the rest of the evening. I don’t understand why I’m not paid to further pollute the lexicon with junk like this. Put me in a room for an afternoon and I will basically write you your entire Sextember issue.

Posted by DC at July 21, 2009 06:13 AM

There's already a word for Mister-sogony...it's "misandry"...but yours is much better.

Posted by: Ford

We have a Farmers Market in virginia, Only it truly is a "farmers" market. The man who owns the store gets fresh meat and butchers it in the back. None of that tysons chicken crap. But there is no toy store, so I figure its a different type of store, with the same name.

Posted by: Melissa

You know what I love about reading your blog? You are happy. You find positive things to talk about. So many blogs are just complaining rants. It makes me happy to hear what makes you happy.

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