I start Tuesday by fucking up. I have a doctor’s appointment at three and I am leaving myself plenty of time to get there, since I’ve never been there before and Google Maps says it’s a ways away, and I’m supposed to arrive a half-hour early. As is customary for me I burn through a bunch of time I’ve allocated to getting there by, like, taking too long to put on my shoes, but I’m still okay. Right as I’m going to head down to the garage I realize I don’t know the name of the doctor I’m seeing once I get there. I’ve written it down in my planner. Another thing I’ve written down in my planner: my appointment is at two. Meaning I’m supposed to be there at one-thirty. It’s two o’clock now.
I get in my car and call the place and apologize profusely to the receptionist and ask if I can still come in. She gets on the other line with the doctor to ask him if he’ll see me. She gets back on and says HE apologizes profusely but, no, he’s going to a meeting. We reschedule for Wednesday morning. She says it’s going to be with a different doctor. I say I’ve never been in there before so, you know, fine. Thank you.
I stand in line for coffee thinking about how elegant my thinking is: I had a meeting at three on Monday. Therefore, all my appointments for the week are at three. Of course. Planners are not for checking well in advance to avoid situations like this. Planners are there to provide crucial information too late so the information does nothing but add dramatic irony.
When you were a doomed level of late in New York, you could just get in a cab. It rarely helped, mostly you would get stuck in traffic and end up being just as late as you would’ve been if you’d taken the train, but at least now you were out twenty bucks. Cabs were nice because it was nice to have a nuclear option. Like, I feel I can at least do something. Step it up. L.A., can we build a SkyClaw, an enormous version of those claws you see in glass-walled machines you try to win stuffed animals out of, to whisk people with poor time management skills and their vehicles to their destinations, swinging precariously above traffic and bullshit? We can? Thanks!
Back at our apartment building: There is someone out by the pool! This is a first since we’ve been here. It is sunny and warm outside so I guess it makes sense, but still: creepy.
Later, we have a meeting. Eric uses an awesome word during the meeting: Doctrinaire. I love this word. It makes me think of a Red Baron fighter-ace type figure who, instead of bombs, drops doctorates on people. Like, he didn’t liberate that French village, but he did make them all podiatrists.
Driving home, a woman in the car behind me is mad at someone and is yelling at them. It’s either somebody on speaker phone, a child in the backseat, or a goblin in her cupholder.
I’m enjoying being able to change the radio station from my steering wheel. This is part of the continuing saga of "DC Is Impressed By Things You Stopped Thinking Were Anything Less Than Standard Back When LFO Got Invited To Award Shows."
Back home again: More people in the pool. Different ones. I watch two guys have the beginnings of a race.
Expose me to enough car radio and I will eventually go home and buy every song ever recorded off of iTunes. Driving to dinner, we hit a real hot streak and hear such as songs as “Put That Woman First” by Jaheim (one of a million songs to sample “I Forgot To Be Your Lover,” but if you know what version it’s sampling let me know ‘cause I can’t find it) and a song called “Can’t Last A Day” by Teena Marie which, last time we were in L.A., I listened to Steve Harvey praise on his radio show for, no joke, twenty minutes. It is really good. You guys have to promise not to be mad when I become a Quiet Storm DJ.
In this neighborhood I see a street called Las Palmas. I am geeked out because this street was referenced in the Sifl & Olly song “Llama School.” (“Sifl & Olly” was a short-lived MTV sock puppet show that still lives inside of me, right next to my soul.) We eat at Loteria, a Mexican place recommended by our old friend Eric Appel. It’s delicious. Our waiter is lovably eccentric and looks like Leon Trotsky if he had been a Mexican waiter. At one point one guy at the table next to us says, “When I was 14 I ate all this acid on Valentine’s Day.”
We return to the Arclight to see “Moon.” There is a lot to recommend the Arclight, it is a really beautiful place to see a movie, but their assigned-seating system is kind of annoying if you are trying to sit next to your friends and you are all buying your tickets separately. You end up standing next to each other at kiosks, shouting back and forth, watching seats disappear. We go to guest services to see if they can seat us all together. They can. While there, I glimpse a handsome Taschen Orson Welles book at the gift shop and I mentally add it to my wedding gift registry. I am marrying myself this fall. (I like to think that through the enthusiasms revealed in this post, like Orson Welles/Sifl & Olly/R&B music, you could successfully triangulate my personality and re-create me if I ever get taken out.)
The ticket taker has a gauntlet made out of his watch and several different colors of pens. Upstairs at the Arclight smells like immolated Teddy Grahams.
So “Moon” is fucking great. If you like sci-fi or movies you should really see it. See it if you like good acting or robots or a story well told.
Downstairs after the movie, the storm of “Transformers 2” midnight screenings is gathering. People are trading their actual grandmothers for tickets to “Transformers 2.” A guy is wearing a “Spider-Man 3” shirt. He is a fan of the genre of sequels.
That first paragraph made me laugh out loud.
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