April 24, 2009

It was not surprising at all that you came under the sway of the charismatic lead singer of the psychadelic band, and not in the least surprising that you slept with him. It is disappointing because we’ve been dating for six months but it’s not at all surprising.

In a more bitter situation I might remark “Is he even the lead singer?” After all, all he does in performance is sit on the floor, long hair covering his face, surrounded by effects pedals and panels with which he modulates his voice. He doesn’t have the most compelling or conventional stage presence. But again, I’m not surprised. I see how it is part of the appeal. He is so effortlessly charismatic, so clearly the center of this whirlwind of creativity, that his lack of affect becomes its own sort of magnet, and no part of me is shocked that you went home with him to the old house on the edge of town where he lives with the rest of the band and some other people in their loose collective.

I am relatively clean-cut and hard-working and straight-laced so it would be very easy to make disparaging comments contextualizing him as a “dirty hippie,” but in my limited interaction with him at their shows and also in the couple of times he has come into the video store, I have seen that he has an authenticity and an intensity that belies any cheap jokes. His band’s consistent high-quality work in a genre of music I don’t even particularly like speaks volumes about his work ethic, and his clear and thoroughgoing commitment to a lifestyle so far from my own tells me his is in touch with a strand of mysticism I would ordinarily dismiss but in this case find alluring because he is such a charismatic figure on so many levels, so when you didn’t show up to the condo last night despite the fact that we had plans to stay in and watch “Metropolitan” once I got home from work, and when my three cell phone calls to you went unanswered, and when you finally knocked on my door at six-fifteen in the morning, waking me up from the sleep I had drifted into while sitting on the couch worrying about your safety and half-watching old episodes of “Comedy Central Presents,” and I opened my front door and you were standing there in the gray half-light of dawn with your hair back in a messy pony-tail wearing a sweater I’d never seen you wear before, and you told me you had just had sex with Raedawn Shiningtrue, lead singer of Ferlinghetti Darkstar, I was not all that surprised.

Except now I want do to like his song says and fade away into the woods.

Posted by DC at April 24, 2009 12:49 AM

I liked the way you wrapped it up in the ending.

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