January 28, 2009

The last thing I posted was a poem from about four years ago. It was from a collection I put together on a computer-lab computer one night and printed out as many copies as I could before they told me to stop. (Of all the things I miss about college, giving the stink-eye to a business major who was printing out seventy hard copies of PowerPoint slides, only to then hypocritically queue up twelve copies of a thirty-page spec script, or sixty all-black Hammerkatz fliers that printed out slow 'cause of all that precious toner on every sheet, that's what I miss the most.)

I don't know why I did it and I don't think I ever purposely gave it to anyone. One copy did get left in the printer and a girl randomly picked it up and Facebooked me back when that was a relatively new thing to do and we ended up going on a date. That was cool.

As I was picking through the document last night, I came across one poem where I used the word "supple." WHOOPSIE!

I recently realized that the reclusive lead singer of Neutral Milk Hotel's name is Jeff MANGUM. All these years I had been reading it Jeff Magnum. (A way cooler name, I'm sure you'll agree. ) Being under this mistaken impression must be why every time I tried to enter the borough of Brooklyn, I was stopped by a hipstery force field, and had to tell everyone else to go on without me.

It was embarrassing to realize this, but also a relief, because it means the name Jeff Magnum isn't taken, and I had been needing a porn name.

The other day I overheard two different people say the words "two saxophonists" in two completely different contexts. Maybe there are things we know are in the zeitgeist, like Hannah Montana and "LOST," and maybe there are also weird bits of detritus that are secretly on everybody's mind and there's no good reason for them to be there, like maybe one day for no reason we all think about our first babysitter and wonder what she's doing at that moment, and it turns out what she's doing at that moment is riding the subway and saying to her friend next to her, "It says everything about my uncle that his funeral featured two saxophonists."

It would be nice if, like the known things in the zeitgeist (the things we're aware of because we're told to be, not because they randomly bubbled up in the collective unconscious), the weird unknown things got their own gossip magazines. I would like crazy coincidental thought-trash to be covered at least as fervently as The Jonas Brothers. I would like it if there was a tabloid whose big bold headlines were things like:


Nation: "Could someone Google it?"

But that's probably asking a lot.

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