December 19, 2008

It is only now,
staring out the airplane window
over the man in the window seat
reading the USA Today sports page,
cocking my head to see a softened square
containing smokestacks and
a sunset,

that I identify this collection of feelings as sacred:
elation and exhaustion and nerves
and dread and joy and frustration
and gratitude and impatience and
ambition and jadedness and awe.

I’m sure the Germans have a word
that encapsulates it all and saves you like,
four syllables.

I’m sure it was coined by a 23-year-old German kid
who was fed up with the amount of things he had to feel
and his inability to feel them one at a time,
and I’m sure like me he was in love with words
but often disappointed by their failure
and definitely disappointed in this case,
until he remembered that unlike me,
he spoke German,
and he could cram a bunch of harsh sounds together
and pretty much nail it.

And once he did
I’ll bet he realized
he’d left one thing out
and try as he might he could not work it in there,
it would cause his emotional super-cocktail adjective to fly apart,

but the one thing
that was always there at the base
which he hoped would always be there

was a deep thankfulness
towards whoever scripts our lives
and allows us to act in them.

Posted by DC at December 19, 2008 04:13 AM
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