August 21, 2007

Back online after some hosting yips.

There are few easier ways to feel like a narcissitic asshole than to call hosting tech support at 2 in them morning regards to a site named...yourself.

Note to anyone whose job involves answering phones: it always makes you sound really productive if you place the receiver down right near the keys and type really fast and really hard.

It makes you seem even more productive if, after typing for two minutes or so, you say "Try it now," and the person on the other end tries it, and IT WORKS.

Thanks, tech support lady in Michigan!

END OF SUMMER STORY-THON, Day 4 (more info on Story-Thon here)

Today's suggestion is from Sean Miller: "nothing gold can stay"

This was the morning I drove over to Mary-Sue’s house to tell her I had decided I was getting out of this nowhere town and ask her would she come with me, not knowing where aside from we were going to blaze down the highway letting my engine rattle our guts and stir our hearts. I had been up all night drinking apple-wine with Augie and Dan underneath the rusted-out railroad bridge, staring into the burnt-up industrial wasteland that was our hometown when I concluded pretty suddenly that if we didn’t get out now we never would. But when I got there, another guy was just pulling up out front of Mary-Sue’s house.

His Chevy was red. Mine was black.

“What are you doing here?” he asked me.

“I’m here to tell Mary-Sue I’ve decided to get out of this nowhere town and ask her will she come with me, I don’t know where aside from we’re gonna blaze down the highway letting my engine rattle our guts and stir our hearts,” I said.

“Me too,” he said.

Then we both just kind of stood there.

I suppose that upon discovering Mary-Sue had been unfaithful to me, me who had made love to her for the first time on the fifty yard line of the high school football field and sworn on everything I had, which was only my no-good family name and my souped-up Chevrolet, that given the chance I would die with her on the twilight streets of our backwards ghost-town in a perpetual embrace, I suppose upon discovering she’d been unfaithful I ought to have been mad. I should’ve stabbed the fella in the guts with the pocketknife that was the only thing my father left me besides his lazy good-for-nothing blood, or at the very least challenged him to a drag race in the old canal. But I was more just impressed that Mary-Sue could string two guys along for long enough that they both wanted to bring her with them on their respective highway-strip freedom bids.

“So…” I said.

Mary-Sue came out onto the porch. She came out pretty much how I’d imagined she would, her dress flapping out behind her like a flag I’d pledge allegiance to a million times before I just one time put my hand to my heart for that rag they’d tried to get us to respect in school, the sunlight dancing in her hair like neon angels bee-boping on the devil’s radiator cap, her eyes full of wild teenage hope. Then she saw me and this other guy standing there in our ripped jeans with cigarette packs rolled up in the sleeves of our white tees, and she stopped looking like that.

“Aw, shit,” she said.

“Do you really have an alcoholic father she’d had to take care of on odd days,” I said, “or is that just something you told me so you could see this guy?”

“She told you that too?” the other guy said.

He looked disappointedly at Mary Sue. She shrugged.

“You boys wanna come in for breakfast, or…?”

“Uhmm…” I said.

“Ehhh,” the other fella said, “I told old man Torgerson I’d come see him. Said he might have a job for me.”

“He got jobs?” I asked.

“Yup,” the other fella said, “Retail. Seems like the town might be undergoin’ a what do you call it…economic recovery.”

“That would be nice,” I said.

“Sure would,” Mary-Sue said. We both glared at her, but weren’t angry enough for real powerful glares or any yelling or anything.

The other fella said “Yup” and tapped the pocket his car keys were in like you do when you’re about to leave someplace. Right then, I became more tired than drunk.

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