May 16, 2007

Dude, so, now I'm an adult and stuff.

I graduated from school last week. It was crazy! Actually, it wasn't that crazy. My family and everybody came out for it, which was very neat. We palled around New York and they bought me meals and fawned over me and such. That was nice.

And then...they were gone. And so was school! And it was time to move out of student housing into my new apartment in Queens. Another thing that was new was the tingly, vertigo-like sensation of the bottom having dropped out of my world as I realized I was as poor and confused as I have ever been and hopefully ever will be.

I had several tiny nervous breakdowns. I think it speaks to my general level of emotional disconnectedness that when I have what I consider a nervous breakdown, it means I'm walking somewhere and for a few blocks of that walk I'm really, really upset. Then I get to where I'm going and I pretend to not be upset and after a while, I'm really not upset anymore. These are not Zelda-Fitzgerald-level episodes we're talkin' here, but in my general scheme of not-reacting-in-a-big-huge-way-to-anything-ever, they register.

Anyway, things are better now. I spent half a day on the couch feeling sorry for myself, just sort of tried to compress all that post-graduate ennui into an afternoon-sized chunk, and that seemed to work okay. Even that wasn't that bad: I got cheap Chinese food from a place across the street and watched a Kevin Smith DVD and I even applied for some jobs. I'm sure the creeping angst will come back now and again. But for now it's beaten back by being busy with Derrick stuff, and some parties, and the occasional swell of "I have a COMMUTE! And an APARTMENT! I'm a goddamn PERSON!" pride. It helps that on my new trainride, you can see the whole skyline. It gives you this cool feeling of invading Manhattan. Look out at that with the right music in your headphones and it's hard to be depressed.

Anyway, look for the Paypal donations button to return for the site, and expect me to have stories from a hilarious and awful dayjob very hell of soon. Skylines ain't put food in a dude's stomach, y'know.

Posted by DC at May 16, 2007 12:14 AM
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