June 21, 2006
I'm here to discuss a phenomenon, a phenomenon I have christened the I'm-So-Happy-With-My-Boyfriend Facebook Photo. I'd like to say it's a MySpace phenomenon as well, because MySpace is more ubiquitous, but I've really only seen it on Facebook. If you have seen examples of I'm-So-Happy-With-My-Boyfriend MySpace Photos, by all means, send them my way.
You know the pictures I'm talking about. The girl's profile picture is her hanging off some harmless nice-enough looking dude. Maybe they're kissing. Maybe they're inexplicably in formalwear. But the look in her eyes says "Look what I've ensnared? Jealous NOW, people from high school?"
And it ain't exclusively a girl thing. Dudes definitely have I'm-So-Happy-With-My-Girlfriend pictures.
I am thinking about cooking up the single-person equivalent of the I'm-So-Happy-With-My-Boyfriend Facebook picture. After I drunkenly make out with someone, I might stop a passerby and give them my camera so they can take a snapshot of us looking blissful in whatever dark nook we've staked out, our hair all messed up and our eyes all unfocused. I may start taking pictures of me smiling and looking meaningfully into a scrap of paper some girl has written her phone number on. I call it the I'm-So-Happy-With-A-Phone-Number-Of-A-Girl-I-Fully-Intend-To-Call-
But-Am-More-Just-Enjoying-The-Potential-Of-What-Could-Happen-As-Opposed-To-The-
Mid-Range-Disappointment-That-Will-Probably-Result Facebook Photo.
I may even take a picture of my face in front of a computer screen displaying the profile of a girl from like, freshman year that I'm half-contemplating messaging to see what's up. The screen might show up too blurry to make that out, but the look of sheer contentment in my eyes will be enough to make those I'm-So-Happy-With-My-Boyfriend girls jealous. "Damn," they'll say, "I wish I was as happy with my flesh-and-blood harmless nice-enough dude who is inexplicably wearing a tuxedo as DC is with that computer monitor."
Well, sorry, ladies, that's pretty much impossible. My computer monitor and I know all each other's likes and dislikes (It likes displaying information via pixels and dislikes having water poured on it or a magnet applied to it) and this weekend I'm going to visit my computer monitor's parents (did you know the Toshiba factory in Hokkaido, Japan gives tours?) and they're going to L-O-V-E me.
Posted by DC at June 21, 2006 11:40 PM