May 17, 2006

I've been signed to a multi-million dollar recording contract to cut my long-awaited hip hop opus. Now all I need is a rapper name. Among the ones I'm considering:

Purrhaps 2 Real



Arthur Killer (My first album will be called "Death Of A Crack Salesman")

Fancy Car Enthusiast

The Comptrolla

Tuppence (This rap persona will fuse 50 Cent with a Dickensian orphan)

President Of Your Ass

Ghostface Threatenah

Cellblock ME! (This one is a crossover with this list)


Mister Goodrap

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In related news, a caddy found a golf ball at the end of the fairway that he claimed belonged to Tiger Woods because it had a picture of his mistress on it. When questioned about it, Tiger looked at the ball with the picture and replied, “Yeah, I hit that.”

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In related news, Nike's new motto for Tiger Woods is Just do me.

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In corresponding thing, Tiger Woods stars inside a film known as “My Preferred 18 Holes.” It turns out it is basically about golf.

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