May 16, 2006
DUDE. My summer dorm is across the street from a church, and apparently every. Fucking. Day at noon the bell tolls the hour and then proceeds to go into a ten-minute tune.
This is a problem. This represents an outmoded, morningcentric view of the universe in which no one could possibly be awoken by an obnoxious bellsong at noon because everyone has already been up for hours being productive.
Well I'm most productive during the hours of 10 PM - 6 AM, and I don't like being made to feel less about it, especially by a five-story Gothic monument.
Come on. You don't pay the man to conform to your archaic argrarian-society-holdover idea about when people should get outta bed. You pay the man to be witty and devastatingly handsome.
Martin Luther nailed 95 theses to the church door. I am going to put up just one. It will read: