May 14, 2006

Barring today, when I had to get up early to move out of my dorm by noon, I have officially shifted into my summertime dining-hall-is-closed routine, which invovles staying up really abnormally late (probably fucking around on the internet) then sleeping in as late as possible so as to render lunch a moot point (sleep is like eating, but for your eyes) then put off eating as long as I can so whatever meal it ends up being (usually Chipotle) lasts until I have to go to sleep again. The holes in this eating schedule are caulked with peanut butter and the occasional pizza slice.

In this way of doing things, breakfast is so irrelevant it's like a textbook that still has "The USSR" on the map, and lunch is just a fallacy worked up by the food industry to sell more meals to the vulnerable "awake since morning and hungry around noon" demographic. When you don't have money or a kitchen, and you aren't very sensible, there is only The One Great Meal. It is taken in a place where you can refill your soda several times and sit by the window and read your book. It is enjoyed on a level unfathomable to the decadent Two or Three-Mealers.

Sure, you could wake up at eight in the morning and work a job that would make you money with which to buy multiple meals a day, but then you might as well just take your white Chipotle napkin, run it up the straw sticking out of your drink, and surrender. Better to work once a twice or week at your bartending or babysitting job, do lots of comedy, and spend the intervening times either sleeping, dicking around on the internet, or sitting in the park reading; and doing all these things with the quiet satisfaction that comes from knowing that in a pinch, your torso would make a pretty great xylophone.

Posted by DC at May 14, 2006 02:46 PM
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