ham fisted theatrics

Childhood Is Over and I Am Old, Moment #3527:

Today I picked up a newspaper because I wanted to read the cover story, which was about allergies.


A Thing To Listen To: If you are not a snob and enjoy such things as Neko Case, Jens Lekman, Cat Power, Dem Franchise Boys and Ludacris all together in a sweaty room doing shots and that dance from the "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It" video, you will enjoy Donald's new DJ mix, which you can download free this very minute and proceed bounce in your chair for fifty minutes at work.


Recently I've been enamored with the phrase "wacky bitch." I dunno where I picked it up but I just saw some random person on the street the other day and those were the words my mind sent up to describe them. Try it: one of your friends stumbles in the room, smooshed and disheveled: "you WACKY bitch." It's just fun. K sounds are fun, and so is making fun of your friends.

Today I had the phrase "put the game on smash" in my head all day. Not sure where I picked that one up either: mighta been from a Spank Rock song. I think the game is something you HAVE on smash, like, "I've got the game on SMASH!" as opposed to, "I just PUT the game on smash," but the fun things about colloquialisms is we can bend 'em to mean whatever the fuck. I think for me, "I've got the game on smash" is going to mean "I am understandably proud of my recent volunteer work with the elderly." This isn't gonna give me many opportunities to use it, but I wanna have some big slang guns in reserve to make me sound cool when I give up the starving-comedian thing and settle into a life of milquetoast do-gooderism.


"Lean Wit It..." reminded me that in Miami over Spring Break (which I wanted to write about more at length right after I got back but my blog was broken, etc.), every day on the beach we saw these three ripped black dudes in black sunglasses and white trunks, who'd walk around shirtless with one of those IPOD boomboxes which only seemed to have three songs on it ("Lean Wit It..." being one of them), drinking something orange out of clear little dixie cups, being orbited by a rotating cast of hot girls, and dancing. Every day. The same three songs. The cups never seemed to get empty and I didn't see what they were refilling them out of. All I could think was: These dudes have the Right Idea.

In a sense, they had the game on smash. But not the elderly sense. Dudes who never do anything but party on the beach with an IPOD boombox and teach judo or tae-bo or whatever they do to keep in such great shape and cannot stop dancing and never need a refill are the opposite of the elderly,

in that they are awesome.