March 07, 2006
The 813 Tripplecreek Terrace Lounge For Time Travellers and other Interdimensional Beings is located on the planet Earth at 121.272753 degrees west and 45.884317 degrees north from 7 AM Mountain Standard Time Saturday morning, March 11th, 2006 ‘till 12:30 PM that afternoon, because at 12:30 I have to go to soccer practice.
If you are not a time traveller, please forward this message in as many places as possible (science message boards, blogs, LiveJournals, etc.) in hopes that it will survive long enough that time travel will be invented and time travelers will want to converse with one another and share ideas and see what an early twenty-first century American living room looks like. If you are a time traveler whose device is capable of traveling geographically as well as temporally, just input the above coordinates, and if it is only capable of time travel, physically transport your machine to the location (please be as exact as possible) and travel to the year 2006. If using the second method, please try to lift your device slightly off the ground before time-travelling, because otherwise you are likely to end up breaking through my basement and my dad will be pissed. Though the damage to the space-time continuum that would result from my dad becoming pissed are unknown, it would definitely stop any future Triplecreek Terrace time-travel events from happening, and I feel this would be a great loss to the time-travelling/interdimensional community.
For weary time travellers, refreshments will be available in the form of a liquid called “Capri Sun” (served in travel-friendly aluminum pouches which may be a welcoming sight to visitors from a future in which drinking glasses are obsolete) and a solid pastry known as “Little Debbie Zebra Cakes” (with a complimentary brochure about zebras for anyone from a future in which they are extinct). There are two sofas and a love-seat, though my dad may be occupying the love-seat. I will do my best to accommodate beings composed solely of light or energy. A first-aid kit will be on hand for those who may have been injured running from dinosaurs in the past, or nuclear zombies in a post-apocalyptic future. There is a television and a primitive game system called Sega, which travellers are encouraged to scoff at as primitive, if only to convince my parents I need an XBOX.
No payment is required to enter the lounge, though any hover-bikes, lasers, slavebots, or any other examples of future technology brought as gifts would be graciously accepted. If this proves to be as popular as I think it will, the proprietor (me) may ask you for use of your time machine to allow his mom to go back to a time before Saturday morning and get more Capri Sun.
Posted by DC at March 7, 2006 12:37 AM