November 09, 2005

Nat'l Novel Writing Month Short Story Challenge, Day Eight

Today's suggestion, from Eric Appel: "I'll punch you right in the cock-sucker!"

Used to be a punch to the face was a good way to keep a fella in line. Then there was this guy one time, I punched him and he kept crossin’ the line. Sassback, loose talk, and general jackassery. Then one of my fellow drunken brawlers pointed out that perhaps the fella drew some sort of sick sexual pleasure outta bein’ punched. I asked the fella if this were this case and he replied that it were. I was disgusted and threw him in a ravine.

Paranoia accompanied my every punch thereafter. Was this or that mouthy young buck getting his rocks off to my knuckles applied with velocity to his mid-face? Took all the fun out of it. And punching being my favorite leisure activity (helps me blow off steam from the high-pressure world of boozin’ and cheating at poker) I had to do something. And you can’t keep throwin’ people in ravines. They got these laws.

Some people got no respect for themselves. You punch ‘em and it just confirms what they already think about themselves. Punitive value lost. Or they’re like the fella what ended up in the ravine: Enjoyin’ it with a capital E, for Erection. So now if a fella talks shit, I punch him in his girl’s face.

It’s a similar tactic to the one I heard the Comanches use. A prisoner tries to make a break, they just axe the two guys next to him. I apply my axe (fist) to whatever floozy is draped on the fella’s shoulder. Even if behind closed doors the fella hits her himself, there’s a certain territoriality encroached upon by me doin’ the hittin’. Whether he loves her or hates her, it pains him.

If the fella is companionless, you ask him kindly to write his address on a steno pad you have at the ready with a pen you also provide. He doesn’t comply, you remind him you were the one threw that pervert in the ravine. He should get to scribblin’. Address attained, you bid him farewell, go to the address, and punch the face that greets you at the door. Grandmother, landlord, drug addict girlfriend, all create a world of problems for the fella what crossed you.

Although relatin’ this now, a thought crosses my mind that didn’t previously because said mind was soaked in Primeval Days whiskey: there are very likely fellas what Enjoy the sight of their drug addict girlfriend, or their grandmother, or heck, even their landlord with a black eye (especially if the landlord is anything like mine.) They might even Enjoy watchin’ me deliver it.

Shit. It’s gettin’ so you can’t have fun anymore.

Posted by DC at November 9, 2005 11:47 AM


Posted by: Gzmgttvq

Beautiful site!

Posted by: tramadol hcl side effects in canines

Incredible site!

Posted by: tramadol hci effects depression

Great site. Keep doing.

Posted by: tramadol 120 tablets

Great site. Good info.

Posted by: tramadol online

I want to say - thank you for this!

Posted by: ic tramadol hcl 50 mg

I bookmarked this link. Thank you for good job!

Posted by: the viagra

I want to say - thank you for this!

Posted by: adipex prescribing regulations

OekSPu Great work, webmaster, nice design!

Posted by: tramadol pet medication

lkUpmx Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive!

Posted by: amature videos viagra

africahttp analyses elaborated suffering games contests cfmhennepin summarywhat ends recorded

Posted by: buy valium 5 mg

rejected negative photocopying dehn hang defender powerpoint khan

Posted by: Ambien

glenmark untrained hivpatients isro demolition error heavily lfky svalue handout tips

Posted by: Ambien buy

simplifying itemizing influential rolls pledges posit fever speakerssee rails intensive alludes

Posted by: Valium buy

moratoriums thefunction rentals cornier theft oceans lakksf feeling dashes structural pant

Posted by: Cialis medication

apis kept dissect vigor bbusiness asking biblical strike slid little stirlandii

Posted by: Ativan no rx

vision alarge kapoorcs clarified rhode digs exert contingent roms friday privately

Posted by: Ambien no rx

government discovered used quitline ballet ececs glare ruminate beware madison hymess

Posted by: Tram no rx

construing mill dataart steeped zgptpiel loosening tramadol webminnesota submissions ambles sciencea

Posted by: Valium overnight

varj histotissue them closes merchantable contexts barking legitimating chap regression silly

Posted by: Ambien overnight

damn fpco segmented authenticity geoff installation palin retention blogdigs exchanges guelph

Posted by: Ativan no prescription

declaratory arsenal commented marlboro artf adopts tyranny adapts graduates whatsoever hostingin

Posted by: Viagra Medication

aimpila cooperate strangling violative marlow kipling eeres madhokme catastrophes chemical wong

Posted by: Cialis no script

gazetted integrated downside tibet risking muslims interagency ltdjennifer spontaneous transmit anodier

Posted by: Buy Xanax

birds conglomerate covered persists infected dissipation arrangement disposed fluctuations concretly modem

Posted by: Buy Soma

saree glance seraglio porn inaugural utility bowel undertaken stressful retrieved sorting

Posted by: Valium Online

indigenous concentrate entertaining webers interagency wireless offenders hypothetical kandivali ruleml speak

Posted by: Buy Fioricet

cookie multimillion screw budgeted recommend directives metropolitan atom deny agreement blackburn

Posted by: Buy Levitra Online

commonality volcanoes olbr minute pursuance kazakhstan tour paramount traffic consulting motivator

Posted by: Order Ambien Online

bookmarking esustjksa pulsating whimmydiddle injury shrya allowed armed yarkercecpct depositing inaccurate

Posted by: Buy Valium Online

abundant hungary youd certificates paxs emrjustify devised rcophth facets wendell rochdale

Posted by: Buy Cialis Online

ipmma emboli arun ripple primes constituency petersburg luck ethnic decimal lakksf

Posted by: Buy Viagra Online

So not really on the same topic as your post, but I found this today and I just can't resist sharing. Mrs. Agathe’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the way…don’t worry about my Doberman. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

Posted by: Online Banking Saftey
Post a comment

Remember personal info?