September 11, 2005
Went to the beach on Long Island yesterday. We were out there to shoot a video sketch, but when you get to go to the beach, it’s important to recontextualize your whole trip as a journey to do just that, no matter what your actual purpose for being wherever. It makes you look like a gentlemen of leisure, like somebody who properly values throwing oneself into some waves for an hour or two on the nicest weekend of the year. Sure I spent eight hours afterward in a bed in ridiculous pajamas and glasses portraying a British child. But it was by choice, dearest. Purely by choice.
The beachfront residents, who were nice enough to let us use their house to shoot in, said it was the clearest the water has been in a while. When I went to pick up a weird transparent thing on the sand, Gregor informed me it was a piece of jellyfish. Even though it would've been harmless, it just shows how I'm barely a couple steps removed from picking up random things and putting them in my mouth just 'cause.
While we're talking about recontextualization, I'd like to pitch my general immaturity as a movement: Stay six. Don't just be in touch with your inner child. Keeping your inner child inner is like letting him stay inside on a beautiful sunny day. Force him out even if he doesn't want to go. Let yourself be excited about staying up past nine and watching grown-up TV. Get in meandering, broken-kid-logic arguments about the rules of foursquare. I would like for this movement to catch on, and see a whole legion of middle-aged Stay Sixers sticking their fingers in electrical sockets out of naked curiosity. I'd like to see account executives at Price Waterhouse throw tantrums over orange juice and Digimon.
Six year olds are like us in that they want stupid stuff for stupid reasons, often going so far as to claim they need it, and fooling themselves in the process. The difference is six year olds are honest about it. Breath-holdingly shin-kickingly honest.
They have runnier noses, though. In general.
Almost exactly a year ago Gregor had a party at his parent's place on Long Island. I believe I dropped an ice beer on the living room rug and talked to Rina a bunch in the Seventies-style conversation pit. I probably made several wifeswapping jokes. The next morning we all came back into the city to shoot a video. Yesterday it got posted on CollegeHumor: Got Your Girlfriend. You get to see me in the bathtub playing with a rubber ducky, to tenuously tie together the Long Island/video shoot/six year old vibe of this whole entry. You also get to see a Fozzie doll who evidently talks to much in one of Hammerkatz's greatest non-sequitirs.
This is something I was wondering the other day: there are non-sequiturs. Are there sequiturs? Does somebody ever let loose with a really good sequitur? (I refuse to look this up on dictionary.com. As much as I love the Internet, it really did take the fun out of pointless speculation, since you can end 99 percent of musing on whether or not something exists by googling it. Answers are unsatisfying.) My dad taught me what a non-sequitur was with the example of Chevy Chase turning to the camera on Weekend Update and saying, simply: "Ten thousand nuns and orphans." Good band name. So is "Chevy Chase's Degeneration Into A Bitter Unfunny Specter Haunts Every Young Comedian."
Unrelated to everything but today (yesterday's) anniversary:
(I)t's very simple... there is only one requirement for any of us, and that is to be courageous...
That's from David Letterman's monologue on his first show back after 9/11. I don't think Letterman's terribly funny but funny ain't everything all the time.
Photo credit: Meg took that of dude before he did stand-up at Liquid Courage at UCB on Friday night.
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