August 02, 2005

What if some souls are so big they can't be reincarnated into just one vessel? They don't fit into just one baby?

Like, take Belushi. I like to imagine the day after he stopped breathing in the Chateau Marmont, Hollywood, California, three babies were born to three different mothers at three different points on the globe, each with one shard of Belushi. That epic, too-big-for-the-world soul split into more manageable chunks not so destined to implode.

Would they have equal portions of each quality, or would one be domaneering, one sweet and innocent, and one balls out fucking hilarious without even trying?

Imagine it were possible, and you had some way of tracking where the shards ended up. You could get yourself some serious metaphysical eugenics going on. Some serious Gregor Mendel-style Punnett Squares of The Soul. Find the people with the fragments you want, get a couple bottles of wine in them, let them go at it after filching the condom from the guy's wallet. You're on your way to an infant with a designer essence.

This is, of course, assuming the now-impregnated woman doesn't give birth to somebody else reincarnated. You may end up having to go halfway around the world to get that soul you mixed up so delicately, and con, cajole, or cradlesnatch it away from his parents. And I'm still confused what you wanted the thing for in the first place.

There's an anecdote in Live From New York as told by Bob Odenkirk. It's late, late, late at a party, Chris Farley is drunk off his ass and hurling furniture across the room. At one point, he seems to exhaust himself. He turns to Odenkirk, his eyes like a childs', and says:

Do you think Belushi's in heaven?

Ideally Odenkirk would've been able to say, no, he's in Jakarta, Iceland, and Humbold, Iowa, and one of him is furious, one of him is lonely, and one of him is funny as fuck.

Assuming these qualities can exist independently of one another.

Posted by DC at August 2, 2005 02:10 AM
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