July 09, 2005

It is done, y'alls. I get to drink the celebratory bottle of wine now 'cause the first draft of the play is complete, as of last Thursday. Tonight after our improv set at Juvie Hall I couldn't get into the bar everyone was going to. I can drink pretty freewheelingly at the bar all the UCB people frequent, but this was downtown, where I am feared by bouncers up and down St. Marks. And when I say "feared" I mean "the dudes feel pretty comfortable grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and throw my backpack-to-the-bar-wearing ass out on the street because they have done it so many times before." So I did my usual writing-night ritual of getting iced coffee at the same deli (which, I might add, varies WILDLY in quality from evening to evening, and yes, that is the most important thing I have ever written) and trekking down to the basement of the library, where I am still. I read the whole play, filling in a couple gaps I left and getting the whole thing to tuck in its shirt punctuation-and-spelling-wise, and sent it to an Elite Few who are to give me feedback. I would've done a more intense rewrite, but it all looks like mush to me right now, because of proximity. It's like that part of a relationship where you become like the utilities to each other, you take a motherfucker for granted. "This time apart is needed," as Jay Z in the song of the summer.

In that last paragraph, when I was describing not going to the bar I was gonna write "I bounced," but then I thought, in ten years, will I be okay with having written that? Is that gonna be the verbal equivalent of looking at a picture of yourself in middle school with a DragonBall Z shirt four sizes too big and knowing you thought you looked awesome at the time?

I dipped. No...I peaced. Yes, that's better.


Let's talk about comics! (One way to guarantee a paragraph will never be read by anything with a vagina or a social life or both.) My friend Matt loaned me Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns this week, and I have a new berth of nerd-dom. I haven't read comics in earnest since I had boxes and boxes of them when I was around thirteen, and I forgot how much I missed them, how much they taught me about image and pacing and story and most importantly, zingers.

Dude, Watchmen! How did I go all these years without reading this book? It's just...dark and sinister and awe-inspiring and wholly fleshed out and complicated and fucked up and cynical and optimistic, fucking life-giving. It's a world. It reminded me of Tony Kushner's comparing playwrighting to making a lasagna: you put everything good in there, more elements than seems like might be a sensible idea, one right on top of the other, 'till it's absurdly thick, right on the point of failure, then you cook the damn thing so it all melts together. And it all melts. And the world blows up. Superheroes die. And life is a beautiful thing, a "thermodynamic miracle."

And Alan Moore, depending on how much I like his other stuff, might end up in the pantheon of "voices" alongside Salinger and Bukowski and Biggie and John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats. It's like, you have the stuff you like, and then you have those voices, the people that are speaking directly to you, telling you you're not alone, the stars in your personal sky. Alan Moore might be one of those dudes.

Chris Onstad is defnitely one of those dudes. If you're not reading Achewood, you clearly need to change your life. The guy writes a daily internet comic, and blogs for all of his main characters. He might be my favorite artist working right now in a non-music medium. Check it:

When you are like 8, a Swiss Army Knife is way better, and much more exciting than even pussy. (This is mainly because if I had had access to a pussy at age 8, I would have like yelled into it and run away laughing, and other things which if I did them at my current age would be guaranteed to get my photo up at the post office.)

That's from the latest post in Roast Beef's blog. Go read the whole thing, it's hilarious and sad and nostalgic all at the same time, like Achewood is at its best. And like all great things, I sound stupid describing it, and it's only when you become immersed in it that you will thank me and realize what great taste I have in everything.

(By the way, I Have Great Taste In Everything is what they should call The Facebook. And all blogs, and Friendster profiles, and iTunes libraries. What I love, though, is how somebody's perfect I Have Great Taste In Everything profile is somebody else's Well Now I Know Me And That Person Would Never Have Anything To Say To Each Other. The Facebook should also change its name to What, Whiteboards And T-shirts Weren't Enough Places For College Students To Write Out Their Stupid In-Jokes And Napoleon Dynamite Quotes?

And they would've, too, if I hadn't already taken the domain name.)


Dude, what the fuck is this weather? If they wanted me to feel more guilty about rolling out of bed at three sometimes, they should make sure that when I do roll out of bed it looks like fucking July in New York outside, rather than some place prositutes fear the fog-shrouded menace of man with a top hat and a penchant for dissection.

Did Jack The Ripper have a top hat? I don't know. But I do know it's been cloudy for a week and a half and that is unacceptable. Much in the fashion of the guy next to me at the counter at Wendy's tonight demanding extra cheese on his baked potato, and he WORKED at Wendy's he KNOWS what extra cheese looks like and THIS is not IT!, I may have to demand an extra week and a half of summer tacked onto the season's end. Or maybe I'll save it 'till Februrary. Maybe they'll give it to me in a little plastic cup like they did the extra cheese at Wendy's. Maybe I'll go back and forth to the counter, making the person sitting near me who just saw my heated and probably mentally ill exchange with the employees verrrrry nervous that I might pull a piece from my weird bag I have and blaze the place.

I know what summer looks like. I didn't come here to get robbed, like the guy said. If I wanted to get robbed, I could do that out on the street! Then he laughed nervously and I tried to look sympathetic to the poor confused/apathetic cashier until my Bacon Cheeseburger came up and I went and sat down and ate and read my biography of Notorious BIG and looked nervously at the crazy dude until it was time to go do my improv show.

I didn't come here to get robbed, Summer!

Posted by DC at July 9, 2005 02:35 AM
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