Taking time out from playwrighting to boo Pitchfork's review of the new Electric Six joint. I haven't heard it yet, but half of the review is spent taking a retroactive rock-crit dump on their last album, Fire, which, as every self-respecting dick-joke-heavy-hard-disco-rock-lover knows was THE JAM.
Now I loves me some Pitchfork, if only for the singles reviews that occasionally have downloads and seem to respect club bangers on their own terms. I only ask that they do the same favor for a band whose only sins are being all like forty-five, having hell of sideburns, and lyrics like "Oh girl, when I'm fuckin' you, it's like nothing else matters, you make me wanna reach down between my legs...and EASE THE SEAT BACK!" (Note: these lyrics are not sung, but rather spoken during an instrumental breakdown.) But no, this dude has to go and be really, really snobby and mean in rationalizing the fact that he doesn't like poop jokes.
You have to be a really good dancer to look like you're dancing poorly, or so they say. And Electric Six have to be a really, really good band to back sentiments like "she's white/she's white/she's white like the night" effectively.
Anyway, now I'm going out of my way to (poorly) rationalize a sentiment which basically amounts to:
Dear Hipster Douchebag,
Please stop picking on a band which I am very fond of. Your snobbery leads me to believe you are one of the sorry few who actually listen to Interpol in your room by choice rather than just praising them in public and leaving them on your iPod in order to appear acceptable.
Yours,
Other Hipster Douchebag
And clearly, a hipster douchebag is what I am, all claiming to be writing a play when I'm actually blogging about an item on Pitchfork Media.
Also, check the hair piece.
PS - Seriously, though, dude, no one listens to Interpol by choice.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Posted by: premature ejaculation