June 21, 2005

Dining hall adventures.

There's only one open in earnest during the summer (Weinstein) and you have to have a meal plan if you live in certain summer buildings, so you end up with an interesting pastiche of summer school kids, kids from all kinds of schools who are living in housing while they do internships, and crotchety never-home NYU fixtures like me.

You also end up standing in line for sandwiches in front of people who have the following conversation:

Doesn't this make you, like, really appreciate the dining halls at Harvard?

OMG! I know, right! Like, what is that salad bar?

Where are you this summer?

JP Morgan. I know it's like, a cliche, but I really like what I'm doing. It's fast paced and competitive so it's just my style.

I know! Me too! I really like what I'm doing. Like, I like it so much that I would've taken it even for only like (said in hushed, faux-ashamed whisper) ten dollars an hour!

I know!

Naturally, I had just gotten home from my job, where I am paid, hourly, you guessed it...

...in the blood of pretentious Ivy League fucks.

What?

Seriously, annoying as they are, it's hard to put on your class-warfare hat when you go to one of the nation's most expensive (goddamn) schools. Even if I'm paying in loans I'll eventually have to pay back and they're paying in money their daddy made pumping diamond-flavored oil.

Later, at the table behind me: Holy shit, someone is worse at cold can-I-sit-here dining hall flirting than I am!

(Said as if you are made of a sneer):

So what about ABORTION? Are you (extra sneers) PRO-LIFE?

So you just eat, like, alone? No ROOMMATES?

Judging by the fact that I can't hear any of her responses even though she's right behind me, I assume this dude has picked the meekest of the Weinstein herd to talk loudly at. I involuntarily imagine the two of them making out later, and, cynical worldview in full effect, decide that it is a pretty likely thing. There and then, I coin a new term for this inevitability: Bullyfucking.

As I get up, I hear her laugh at something he says. Yup. Definite bullyfucking at the hot ol' summer dorm tonight.


No matter how long I am in college, I will never stop being jazzed with myself for eating vegetables of my own volition. Hell, I even like eating vegetables.

Posted by DC at June 21, 2005 08:09 PM
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