April 14, 2005

Every barfight in New York City:

BARFLY: You wanna be a fuckin' tough guy?

JERSEY DICK: I'm standin' right fuckin' here!

BARFLY: Yea, you gonna stand there all night, tough guy?

JERSEY DICK: What, you want I should come over there, faggot?

BARFLY: What did you fuckin' call--

JERSEY DICK: You fuckin'--

BARFLY: Wait.

JERSEY DICK: Yes?

BARFLY: Let's not do this here.

JERSEY DICK: But--

BARFLY: Wait, hear me out. Let's go have this loud shouting match slash scuffle directly beneath DC Pierson's window.

JERSEY DICK: But it's many blocks away.

BARFLY: I know. But it will be worth it.

JERSEY DICK: You are correct. I will bring a bullhorn and six of my loudest boys.

BARFLY: Excellent. See you there in fifteen minutes, when DC will be trying even harder to sleep than he is right now.

JERSEY DICK: (shouting) COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER! COCKSUCKER!

BARFLY: What?

JERSEY DICK: Sorry. Just practicing.

BARFLY: Good. Wait--

JERSEY DICK: What?

BARFLY: I forgot to fill out the paperwork for having a barfight underneath DC's window. Three weeks in advance you have to file it. There's high demand.

JERSEY DICK: Perhaps there was a cancellation.

BARFLY: You're right. Let's go.

Posted by DC at April 14, 2005 11:52 PM
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