March 24, 2005

If Dominic and Donald and I could make a living coming up with concepts for Ludacris/Missy Elliot music videos, I think that is probably what we would do 'till we died.

We have a theory. The production of every Ludacris video begins with Ludacris proclaiming, "In this video, I'm gonna (ridiculous characteristic)." IE, "I'm gonna have a giant head" (Rollout), "In this video, I'm gonna have big arms" (Get Back), "In this video, I'm a baby" (Stand Up). We have found there are very few ideas that seem like they'd be too strange for a Ludacris video.

With that in mind:

In this video, I'm a faucet.

Ludacris' face on a faucet. He raps the song. People come by and turn the faucet on and off to wash their hands. At a certain point, four drops of water morph into Missy Elliot and three twelve-year old breakdancing girls in matching tracksuits, who do a dance in the wash basin, only to melt and go down the drain as Luda's third verse begins.

In this video, I'm an elephant.

Ludacris' face on a full-size African elephant. For some reason the elephant is really into nice cars, but is frustrated by the fact that he can't fit in any of them. Also, he raps. Then there is a disturbed look on his face. We pan 180 degrees around the elephant to see Missy Elliot emerging from its rectum. She only gets halfway. She is kind of shitty but her makeup is reasonably intact. The elephant does a hand-stand, so it appears as if the elephant's back legs are Missy's bottom half. The half-elephant half-Missy begins dancing awesomely. At the end of the video, the zookeeper (played by Timbaland) comes to fetch the elephant from the Hummer dealership, pacifying it with a stun-dart full of Courvoisier.

In this video, I'm Dave Grohl's shirt.

The whole video is a medium shot of Dave Grohl (head and chest.) Dave Grohl wakes up in the moning. He goes and gets a red flannel shirt off the floor and buttons it absentmindedly as he walks out the front door. We see that the shirt pocket is Ludacris' face. Luda does his verses as Dave Grohl goes about his day: going to the ATM, picking up laundry, etc. No one who passes by seems particularly bothered by the fact that Dave Grohl's shirt is rapping. At a certain point, Dave Grohl is at the grocery store paying for a cream soda. He motions to the cashier as if to say "Wait, I have change." He reaches into his shirt pocket, and seems disturbed by what he finds there. He lays the contents of the pocket on the checkstand: a tiny Missy Elliot and three breakdancing twelve year olds. Missy is wearing a jumpsuit that is a big barcode. The cashier scans Missy. The register's display reads "HOT."

In this video, I appear normal at first...

In this video, Ludacris appears, rapping into the camera, seemingly with no exaggerated physical features. Then after the first two verses, the camera flips completely, revealing that Ludacris' legs are, in fact, Missy Elliot's torso, her hands functioning as his feet and keeping him standing. Despite the awkward postion and all the blood no doubt rushing to her head, she manages to dance in a crazy, off-kilter yet really awesome fashion. The verse is entirely backwards.

We zoom way out to reveal that, a la The Little Prince, the Luda/Missy creature is standing on a tiny planet, which, we come to realize, is in fact Timabaland's head. We zoom out more to reveal this Timbaland-head planet orbits a yellow sun much like our own, except the solar flares are twelve year old breakdancers in flaming tracksuits.


If Mr. Cris is interested in any of our treatments, he knows where we can be reached.

Posted by DC at March 24, 2005 05:36 PM
Comments

Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.

Posted by: premature ejaculation

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.

Posted by: penis enlargement

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Posted by: penis enlargement

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Posted by: penis enlargement

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Posted by: penis enlargement

A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day.

Posted by: penis enlargement

Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one.

Posted by: penis enlargement

Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one.

Posted by: penis enlargement

Your website is very great. I enjoyed your website a lot. Thank you.

Posted by: loan

I had got a desire to start my company, but I did not have enough amount of cash to do that. Thank God my dude recommended to take the loan. So I received the term loan and realized my dream.

Posted by: ALISADeleon21

www.dcpierson.com is great! The reason why such payday loans have breathed a fresh life into people is because of the fact that they can be got at such short notices Payday loans are comparatively less fleecing at any given time

Posted by: toronto payday loans

kwpkqhljovogzejlvlfivuyjtmibwatofmd

Posted by: payday loans bc

Perfect submit. Thank for sharing. oeinuixbkaxfzbapfhomrqcscgliwyxqsiu
Mr. Payday Easy Loans Inc.

Posted by: Mr. Payday Easy Loans Inc.

I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I added to my bookmarks, thanks a ton

Posted by: Golf

In related news, after his press conference admitting his cheating, Tiger Woods began apologizing to the women with whom he had affairs. Twelve hours later they say he barely scratched the surface.

Posted by: Golf Clubs

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine. Did you acquired lots of links and I see lots of trackbacks??

Posted by: online loans

Greetings everyone, This webpage is excellent and so is how the matter was expanded. I like some of the comments as well although I would prefer we all keep it on topic in order add value to the subject. It will be

Posted by: payday loans in canada

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Take care. fzuwalydkod

Posted by: payday loans no fax

Hi buddy, very informative post. Please keep them coming.

Posted by: faxless payday loans

This site is a complete internet resource for this. You'll find all you wanted or needed to know, here.

Posted by: loans canada

Great concepts on this website. It's rare these days to find websites with data you are seeking. I am happy I chanced on this webpage. I will certainly bookmark it or even register for your rss feeds simply to be updated on your new posts. Keep up the nice job and I'm sure some other folks researching valued information will actually stop by and benefit from your website for resources.

Posted by: bad credit loan in canada

I'm happy to have found your very good article! I agree with some of your readers and will eagerly look forward to your coming updates. Just saying thanks will not just be adequate, for the wonderful lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Good work and much success in your business efforts.

Posted by: bad credit loans canada

A really nice niche blog, and a high quality design there sparks Simplicity yet complex algorithm of the net. Thank You.

Posted by: loans bc

Thanks for such a superb submit and the critique, I'm totally impressed! Keep stuff like this coming.

Posted by: payday loan ontario

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Take care.

Posted by: weight loss

The submit is really the best on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your future updates. Just saying thanks will not just be enough, for the exceptional lucidity in your writing. I will at once grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. De delightful work and much success in your business dealings!

Posted by: bad credit loans

I am doing some thing of the same interest and will be taking note on this .Thanks.

Posted by: bad credit loans in canada

Pretty first-rate publish. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you submit again soon.

Posted by: payday loan online

Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my web page something like that. Can I take part of your publish to my blog?

Posted by: loans calgary

A highly nice niche blog, and a really good design there sparks Simplicity yet complex algorithm of the world wide web. Thank You.

Posted by: bad credit loans

Thanks for fine news! Your web site is really useful for me. I bookmarked your web site!

Posted by: loan money canada

I think that is an interesting point, it made me think a bit. Thanks for sparking my thinking cap. Sometimes I get so much in a rut that I just feel like a record.

Posted by: Online Banking Security

The title " ham fisted theatrics: " really caught my eye . I’m impressed, I must say. Really rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the issue is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.

Posted by: Modelling Suggestions
Post a comment









Remember personal info?