September 28, 2004

This is more than a theory:

There is no Lil' Jon.

Andy Kaufman had this character, his alter-ego Tony Clifton, and once people realized Clifton was Kaufman he had his buddy Bob Zmuda play Clifton so the two of them could show up in the same place at the same time. Lil' Jon is a modern day Tony Clifton. A succession of people strap on the trademark dreds and baseball cap and take the golden goblet out of its ceremonial case engraved with all the names of the LJs who've gone before, then take a limo to whatever award show or middlingly-talented Southern rapper video shoot the Lil Jon persona is scheduled to make an appearance at that day. As for his beats, they're produced by a supercomputer that used to process static from outer space into readable data, until somebody spilled a glass of SoCo on it and it began smoking, sparking, and the hook from "Get Low" came out.

Look, I'm privy to information a lot of people aren't privy to.

Posted by DC at September 28, 2004 03:21 AM
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