November 07, 2003
I had an excellent day today.
It was gorgeous outside. After my one class, I took a sandwich to Battery Park. I ate it, listened to Belle and Sebastian, watched seagulls and German tourists and a crazy old man dancing on rollerblades. It was glorious.
Then I walked along the water up the west side, through insanely nice parks and piers I had no idea were there.
I passed this, so I stopped on a pier while the sun was setting and it was getting cold, and wrote this:
You’ll be tempted when you hear this
To label me a fool
But I’m quitting college to enroll
In the New York Trapeze School.
College social life appealed to me
The campus was nice, too
But I’ve noticed, as of late, a lack
Of feats of derring-do
In trapeze school, there are no exams
No answers, right or wrong
And my advisor’s meetings will go something like:
“Neck not broken? Great. So long!”
My every course will take place
In a classroom, four feet square
No room for detailed taking notes
up this high in the air
I’ll be graded on my landings,
And write with rope burned fists
my thesis: a lengthy symphony
of midair turns and twists
Upon graduation, I’m hired by
A circus of great renown
And after a season or two I’ll find us
Back in my old hometown
The ground gets not a second glance
I’m now a seasoned vet
My death-beating stunts performed without
The safety of a net
My parents are in the crowd tonight,
Dad whispers “Holy shit,
Why couldn’t he just have gotten that
BA in English Lit?”
My mother shuts her eyes
As she endures that deadly pause
Between the time I leave the platform
And the thunderous applause
Post-show, I’ll run into a girl I knew
When I was young and fat
Who changed her mind once I became
A world-class acrobat
We’ll adjourn to my tent after I
bid goodnight to cast and crew
Her fingers tracing hardened muscle
as she surrenders to
a desire so different from the one
that first caused her pulse to pound:
Tonight, in her darkest heart,
to see me dashed upon the ground
She sees it’s not so far between this
and my rope a tad too frayed:
A thrill , a chill, and I’ll be gone
tomorrow either way
There is only room for this kind of love,
(limbs entangled on hard cots)
no more, in a life whose length depends
On gravity and knots
The road is hard, and also there’s
the outsized chance of dying
But I say, “We’ll all meet fate some day
At least I’ll meet mine flying.”
Great. Now i can say thank you!
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