August 19, 2003

There's a very thin line between punkrock and pathetic.

For a while my wallet, bearer of coupons and identification and little scraps of paper with people's numbers on them, was punkrock. With its hodgepodge of stickers as meaningless as they were numerous, it was both a place to keep small bills and prom pictures and a big fuck you to the establishment. The establishment that said please do not put random sticky things you find on your wallet was no match for my determination to do just that, for seriously like four years.

But now I'm a little bit older, and the frayed black faux-leather ol' girl has slowly drifted across that thin line into Patheticsville. My old desire to break wind in the face of convention has given way to my new desire to not look like a total douchebag when I pull my wallet out to pay for something. So it is with a heavy heart I'm switching up my back-pocket lineup; a classier brown number one of my step-aunts I've never met got me for Christmas is now doing frontline wallet duty. Like I said, you have to cast aside your older selves. Including the things they kept embarrasingly small amounts of money in.

Goodnight, sweet billfold. May a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest, in a box in the garage full of sentimental old shit I plan to paw through when I'm gray and snaggle-toothed.

Remember when I said I wish I was busy? Right, turns out I could've been busy if I hadn't been putting off a ton of things I have to do by this Saturday when I leave. Now I'm busy whether I like it or not, yee-haw.

One of the things I have been putting off is answering Dana's five questions, which is apparently the latest LJ-cult thing. It's sort of like 50 Cent's song "21 Questions," only the questions are less asinine. ("Would you love me in a Bentley?" Of course. Women will love ANYTHING in a Bentley. Homeless stoner in a Bentley. One-eyed rottweiler in a Bentley. Hell, in the seat of one of those sweet babies, even a turd with a popsicle stick looks like marriage material.)

Dana asked good questions, and I'll try my hardest not to give copout answers.

1. what are you most proud of? Leaving the state, good financial sense be damned.

2. describe the best song. ever. The best song ever, you want to play for a girl you have a crush on, and have for a long time, and the song won't tell her expressly that, and neither will you because you haven't the guts, but just the fact that she's hearing it and feeling the same thing you have in response to it, that's enough. Almost.

Current best song ever nominee: The Decemberists, "Grace Cathedral Hill"

3. ok, it's five minutes until you go up on stage. what are you thinking/feeling? I am feeling like a badass and thinking "God I'm a badass." Seriously. Usually I think I'm such a badass I forgot a really important prop or forget to zip up or something. This is how my life goes.

4. after you're moved in, what's the first thing you're going to do in new york? (also: will you feed a duck in central park for me? :) please?) Probably sample the dining hall food, but that's not a very pleasing answer, is it? Hopefully ride the subway somewhere. I heart the subway.

And yes, Holden, I'll feed a duck for you.

5. do you believe there's one person out there who's meant just for you?

No, but I'm going to find her anyway. Does that make sense?

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